Memoir Tips & Tricks

It may appear that learning how to write a memoir is straightforward… You may believe it is simple to scribble down facts about your life in a coherent, interesting manner… But there’s a lot more to it, and here is where many authors fall short. Memoirs may be quite difficult to write. It takes a lot of skill and craft to write down intimate details about your life for others to read and learn from.

Top Memoir Questions

What is a Memoir?

A memoir is a historical narrative or biography produced from personal experience or unique sources. We all shudder a little when we think about a memoir or a book about someone else’s life. But a memoir is more than that! It’s a book about your life, the lessons you’ve learned, and the pivotal events that have molded who you are.

Essentially, this is a book that you wrote about significant events in your life. It’s like a highlight reel from your journal (if you ever kept one) of the events that impacted your life. You bring your memories to life in order to convey an overarching message from which others might learn and grow.

And even though you’re technically writing a nonfiction book, memoirs should fall more into the category of “fiction.” It’s a story-like read that’s enjoyable… It just happens to be correct.

What Qualifies as a Memoir?

A memoir is unique in the fact that it covers your life’s events in a more story-like structure with an overarching theme or message written in.

This means that “how-tos,” “motivational books,” “self-help books,” and other topics don’t qualify as a memoir. Memoirs are unique in that they cover the totality of your life, with an emphasis on tales and pivotal experiences that lead to a greater purpose.

Memoir Definition

A memoir is a historical narrative written with personal knowledge and experience that spans a person’s lifetime, generally with a larger purpose or message contained within it. It’s your life narrative, and hence your own tale.

How Long Should Memoirs Be?

For the typical person, the length of a memoir should be between 50,000 and 60,000 words.

Can Anyone Write A Memoir?

Yes, anyone can write a memoir if they have the necessary skills and experience. The most common misunderstanding is that you must be renowned or have had a significant life event in order to write a book. But that isn’t necessary.

In reality, some of the most compelling memoirs can come from “ordinary” people describing the most important lessons in their lives.

What’s the Difference Between A Memoir vs. Autobiography?

A memoir usually focuses on one element of a writer’s life (or a continuous theme through memories). An autobiography, on the other hand, is a chronological narrative of the writer’s life. Knowing the differences between a memoir vs. autobiography can be confusing with so many book genres and writing terminology out there,

They’re both about someone’s life that they wrote, right? Right. However, there is one significant difference that distinguishes a memoir from an autobiography in terms of the ultimate outcomes. So, if you want to write a play-by-play of your whole life, from the minute you were born to the moment you began writing, you’d write an autobiography.

However, if you want to communicate a meaningful message with the world based on your own real-life experiences, you will write a memoir.

How to Write a Memoir with Meaning and Influence in 10 Steps

Writing a memoir might not only be a rewarding experience for you, but it can also have a profound influence on others. You’ve had events that have led you to a certain point in your life, and you know what? You have a life that is valuable.

Others, no doubt, have been in your shoes and will profit from your publishing a book. In essence, you may educate people on how to go through what you went through, or even how to learn from their own adventures, just as you had yours. That is the significance of a memoir, and its impact is limitless.

Writing a memoir may be tough since it is about your life, and you want to compose your language in an interesting manner, similar to story writing. Somehow, we find it difficult to put our own life into words in the form of a meaningful message.

How do you really sum up an accumulation of years and years of experience in only a couple hundred pages?

#1 – Choose the Focus or Theme for Your Memoir

A memoir is more than just a summary of your life’s experiences. If it were, it would be called an autobiography. What sets memoirs apart from a simple retelling of your life is an overarching theme or message that others can take away from it – and that you personally learned from the stories you share. Consider what you want readers to take away from your memoir.

What will they acquire or learn from reading about your life? You can find the answers by asking yourself the same questions about your life. What have you learnt in your life? What’s the number 1 message that your experiences have taught you? The actual labor comes after you have that large, wide concept.

#2 – List All Associating Memoir-Related Memories

It’s time to perform some mind mapping. Now that you’ve determined the general topic and message of your book, as well as what will set it unique, you must connect the dots in your life to that central emphasis. Here are a few particular topics to consider in order to awaken some of those memories and learn how to write a memoir worth reading:

There are several factors that have a direct impact on how you see life as a whole. You only need to do a little digging to elicit some particular recollections that can be linked back to the overall topic of your book.

#3 – Add Others’ Related Stories

I get that this is a book about your life, but it never hurts to back up your personal experiences with those of others — or many others. Knowing how to write a memoir entails anticipating when your message will be most audible. And this is frequently accompanied by further stories from others.

One of the most effective connections you can create to profit from your memoir’s message is to demonstrate to your readers that it isn’t just you. If you haven’t lived it, you won’t always be able to convey the message. To persuade readers to relate, show them that many individuals go through the same issue.

#4 – Write Truthfully

One of the most difficult aspects of writing a memoir is that we have a tendency to be a little too critical of ourselves. That is correct. Nobody enjoys admitting their flaws. It’s one thing to admit when you’ve made a mistake in life; it’s quite another to put it down for all to see.

It’s difficult. We want everyone to see the greatest version of ourselves, so we leave out information or even outright lies to appear “better” in their eyes. But that isn’t what distinguishes an excellent memoir. To understand how to write a memoir that impacts people deeply and emotionally, you must first learn to be honest.

#5 – Show, Don’t Tell in Your Memoir Writing

When it comes to building interest with your writing – and believe me, you want to do this, especially with a memoir – you must write by showing, not telling. For the purpose of brevity, I’ll only give you a high-level summary of this writing method. Showing versus telling is essentially how you explain your experiences with a focus on emotion. However, this does not imply that you should record every emotion you experience at any given moment. In reality, that is exactly what you want to avoid.

#6 – Get Vulnerable

Memoirs are not the time to be detached from your inner sentiments. Quite the contrary, in fact. It’s time to dig deep and show the world what kind of author you are through your life experiences by getting vulnerable. Allow yourself to be exposed to the truth of who you are now. If you hide yourself in any manner, it will be visible on the pages of your book and, as a result, less successful.

You may shudder at first when you write some recollections, but after a few days, you’ll find it easier to tell your truth. And the greatest part? You’ll be glad you did.

#7 – Make Connections with Each Story

You’ve got your attention, right? Each tale you tell – whether it’s yours or someone else’s – must be related to your theme in order for it to be understood by your audience. However, they do not all have to be directly related to your topic. Having that overall theme will assist you in connecting all of your recollections in a cohesive manner.

Some experiences may have led you to epiphanies, which led to other occurrences that connect into the major lesson you want readers to take away from reading your book. Consider this: you want to connect the dots so that the message comes full circle by the time the reader is done.

#8 – Talk About How Everything Affects Your Life Today

Typically, writing a memoir is about reflecting on your life and identifying how you got to where you are today. What events have led you to the heart of who you are right now? That implies your book will have insider information about your life as it is today. Each chapter should bring your readers back to your present-day life and how each memory affected where you are today.

#9 – Put Your Personality Into the Memoir

Nobody wants to read a dry account of your life. I’m sorry, but I don’t think so. I’m here to assist you. And that means I have to be honest with you: people want to hear your individuality! They’re reading about your life, which implies they’d like to see more of you in the writing. Learning how to write a memoir is figuring out how to include more of yourself into the pages.

Don’t be scared to write in the manner in which you talk. Communicate with them as if they were a friend. Here are a few ideas for injecting extra personality into your memoir:

You want your readers to gain a sense of who you are through your stories and the voice in your writing.

#10 Write a Memoir You’d Want to Read

How can you assure that your memoir will be well received by others? Write it in such a way that it is enjoyable to read for yourself! This has a lot to do with putting your own stamp on things. Still, it’s also about crafting the structure of your novel entertainingly too. Despite the fact that this is a memoir, there should be a conclusion to keep readers interested. This was the point in your life when you battled but were able to pull yourself out of the trenches and establish your own way.

How to Start a Memoir in 3 Steps

A strong introduction is everything. Let’s draw those readers in! Without the ability to hook readers, convincing someone to buy and read your book will be a bit harder than anticipated.

#1 – Be Relatable

Nobody wants to read a book that’s preachy or condescending. One major mistake many make when writing a memoir is not starting it off to make the readers connect with them. One of the most essential elements of your memoir is this. Do you honestly believe that people will want to read about someone’s life if they can’t relate to them?

Consider when you were most involved in a book (or even a TV show or movie). What did you enjoy the most? Could you identify with the author or any of the characters? Did you comprehend their anguish, victory, and adversity? Others will want to remain around if they can relate to you and see themselves in your path. This is usually the greatest approach to not just attract readers but also fans.

And that means they’ll read your whole book and any others you write.

#2 – Use Emotion by Showing, Not Telling

It’s OK if you want to provide a play-by-play of your life with nothing more than a list of events you’ve had. Just bear in mind that doing it that way will neither entice nor retain your readers. A memoir may be an effective tool for teaching people about your life experiences. Still, if they’re not intrigued enough to keep reading, it’ll render your memoir pointless. And we don’t want that. Showing and not telling, you’ll put more emotion into your writing. This approach may appear perplexing at first, but it is actually fairly simple once you understand how to use it.

Here are the basics for showing versus telling:

• Use fewer tell words like “I heard,” “I felt,” “I smelled,” “I saw,” to bring readers closer
• Stop explaining emotions and instead explain physical reactions of those emotions (If you want to say “I was scared,” describe your heart hammering against your chest or the sweat beading your forehead instead)
• Describe body language in more detail
• Use strong verbs that coincide with the emotions you’re trying to convey (writing “crashed to the floor” instead of “fell to the floor” creates more impact)

This writing style might be difficult to grasp, but luckily, there are several tools available to help you figure it out.

#3 – Make the Message Clear Right Away

What is it you’re trying to say through your memoir? Why did you want to start writing one in the first place? If you dig deep enough, everyone has a fascinating life. What you must figure out is how your life experiences may help and shape the lives of others. Consider how that will materialize from your previous experiences, and make sure your readers are aware of it from the outset (this may also be accomplished through a strong book title).

This is the Story of Your Life

The most important message here is that this is your narrative, your life, and it should be presented exactly as you want it to be told. The decision is entirely yours. But there’s nothing more liberating than being able to explain your life experiences in a way that genuinely speaks to others and has the potential to improve their lives.

Do you want to make a difference in people’s lives and assist those who are going through the same difficulties you are? By self-publishing your memoir, you’ll be rewarded for all of your honest hard work with more than just additional income. You will be in charge of influencing and shaping the lives of others.